Saturday, January 9, 2010

Saturday Night Filler

Thoughts on Kings vs. Nuggets 01/09/10:

If the past couple of weeks have proven nothing else it's that the Kings can beat a top team as long as they're at home, that team is the Nuggets, and the Nuggets are missing a key player. Still, this win was huge after last night's let down in Oakland. The endgame strategy of giving Tyreke the ball and hoping for the best continues to be maddening even if it was successful tonight. As he gets more consistent it should get slightly less so, but for now it's excruciating

Friday, January 8, 2010

Friday Night Filler

Thoughts on Kings vs. Warriors 01/08/10:

Well that was ugly. Typical Kings game. When they're aggressive it creates easy shots, free throws and second chance opportunities. Then the offense stagnates leading to turnovers, settling for jumpers, and inexcusable shot clock violations. I'd credit the Warriors' defense more if that wasn't the sort of performance the Kings put on all the time. Chalk it up to youth if you want, but after a rough patch of games this is the sort of game the Kings must win to continue to progress. At a certain point there's nothing left to learn from losing.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Siege: An Ill-Considered Review

Marvel's biggest event ever until the next one kicks off with the 8-page intro that's been freely available on the internet for awhile then cannonballs through plot points until we end up pretty much where the marketing said we would. This raises a question: has hype made first issues redundant? The sheer volume of previews and creator interviews has made it so that anyone with any interest at all in the series probably already knows the premise and more or less what is going to happen, at least initially, in the story. In this case it been made pretty clear that Norman Osborn is invading Asgard and the big three of Thor, Cap, and Iron Man will reunite to stop him. In this issue, Norman invades Asgard, Thor fights back, Iron Man is in a coma but near the battle zone , and Cap reacts to news of the invasion. The marketing was nothing if not truthful. Someone who had been carefully following news about Siege could probably leap straight into issue number 2 and not be lost. Yet in the experience of reading the story, it would feel like something was missing. Even knowing for a fact the issue exists and being able to guess almost exactly at its plot points, the overall experience of the story would not be complete without sitting down and actually reading it for yourself.

All of this probably has something to do with the fact that when it comes to plotting, novelty is overrated. Where fiction is concerned, the visceral experience of the story trumps everything. It's why people can watch the same movie over and over again. It's why comic book characters have runs that stretch back decades. It's why a cliched plot doesn't necessarily stand in the way of commercial success. Cliches can be boring, but properly applied they can also be comforting. The audience can relax, assured that the story is going somewhere they want it to go. We want to see the heroes unite and stop the bad guys. Knowing they will turns the experience into a victory march. The particular combination of words, images, and whatever else is entailed in the product trigger a pleasure center in the brain, a sensation the audience doesn't mind experiencing over and over.

Siege in particular seems interested in concentrating the story down to a collection of moments the audience wants to witness. The catastrophic inciting event. Osborn laying things out for his team. Ares rallying the troops. The ride into battle. Thor's arrival. The Cap reveal. With the exception of the opening, each of these points is hit hard then immediately left behind for the next one. Much as the marketing renders the first issue superfluous, audience familiarity with the story beats makes connective tissue unnecessary and we can just get the highlight reel, which is all we came to see anyway.

Bad Comic Book Pitches

Comics that should never be made, which is exactly why they must...

Watchmen 2: Rorschach's Revenge:

We open on Mars with Dr. Manhattan reconstituting Rorschach. Rorschach's demise and Dr. Manhattan's leaving Earth was all a ruse to buy the duo time to figure out how to deal with Ozymandias without upsetting his utopia. The duo works with Nite Owl and Silk Spectre to investigate ways to take Ozymandias down even as he is consolidating power on Earth and becoming a brutal tyrant. It is finally revealed that the events of the first book were actually orchestrated by Moloch who had been using a form of long-lasting mind-control on Ozymandias to make the hero do his bidding. It seems that upon learning he had terminal cancer, Moloch sought to first outdo the heroes he despised by having Ozymandias save the world in way they'd never dream and then crushing under Ozymandias' ensuing reign. The team is able to free Ozymandias from mind-control before he goes too far and the utopia, now under the benevolent rule of the newly-christened Watchmen, is preserved. Perfect jumping off point for an ongoing series!

Wonder Woman:

Diana decides to spread her message of peace and love through the medium to which it is most suited: rock 'n' roll! Forming Diana and the Wonders(Diana and the Amazons was considered, but focus groups found it a tad aggressive), Wonder Woman takes the show on the road, closing every concert with an astonishing rendition of Paradise City. But can Wonder Woman maintain the message? Or will the perils and temptation of the road pull the band apart?

Aquaman:

Aquaman relocates to Phoenix, Arizona. The rest pretty much writes itself.

Speedball:

Robbie Baldwin readopts his old persona as his struggle to deal with his role in the Stamford incident leads to an addiction to the mixture of heroin and cocaine. Both informative and entertaining, the series chronicles the joyous romps Robbie believes he is having while high on his drugs of choice as well as providing detailed instructions on how to purchase and use the drugs yourself. Recommended for impressionable teenagers and above.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Tuesday Night Filler

Random Thoughts For Any Given Sacramento Kings Game:

- If Tyreke Evans learns to make half the ridiculous shots he takes, he'll be absolutely unstoppable.

- If Jon Brockman's in the game, some one's getting hurt.

- Youthful enthusiasm leads to brainless turnovers.

- Sergio Rodriguez believes himself to be the Spanish Jordan. He is sadly mistaken.

- That guy in the corner isn't resting. Some one should consider guarding him.

- A Martin/Evans back court only makes sense if you ignore things like the rules of basketball and basic lineup building concepts

- If we had the technology to combine Spencer Hawes and Jon Brockman into a single player, I would pay for it personally.

- Guys...the shot clock...guys...no you don't have time to...no...guys?...guys?!

- Omri Casspi desperately needs a nickname. King of Israel doesn't work. It's longer than his full name for one thing.

- It's nice to see Beno Udrih do things like "try" and "care."

- You know what's better than learning from defeat? Learning from victory.