Bad Comic Book Pitches

Comics that should never be made, which is exactly why they must...

Watchmen 2: Rorschach's Revenge:

We open on Mars with Dr. Manhattan reconstituting Rorschach. Rorschach's demise and Dr. Manhattan's leaving Earth was all a ruse to buy the duo time to figure out how to deal with Ozymandias without upsetting his utopia. The duo works with Nite Owl and Silk Spectre to investigate ways to take Ozymandias down even as he is consolidating power on Earth and becoming a brutal tyrant. It is finally revealed that the events of the first book were actually orchestrated by Moloch who had been using a form of long-lasting mind-control on Ozymandias to make the hero do his bidding. It seems that upon learning he had terminal cancer, Moloch sought to first outdo the heroes he despised by having Ozymandias save the world in way they'd never dream and then crushing under Ozymandias' ensuing reign. The team is able to free Ozymandias from mind-control before he goes too far and the utopia, now under the benevolent rule of the newly-christened Watchmen, is preserved. Perfect jumping off point for an ongoing series!

Wonder Woman:

Diana decides to spread her message of peace and love through the medium to which it is most suited: rock 'n' roll! Forming Diana and the Wonders(Diana and the Amazons was considered, but focus groups found it a tad aggressive), Wonder Woman takes the show on the road, closing every concert with an astonishing rendition of Paradise City. But can Wonder Woman maintain the message? Or will the perils and temptation of the road pull the band apart?

Aquaman:

Aquaman relocates to Phoenix, Arizona. The rest pretty much writes itself.

Speedball:

Robbie Baldwin readopts his old persona as his struggle to deal with his role in the Stamford incident leads to an addiction to the mixture of heroin and cocaine. Both informative and entertaining, the series chronicles the joyous romps Robbie believes he is having while high on his drugs of choice as well as providing detailed instructions on how to purchase and use the drugs yourself. Recommended for impressionable teenagers and above.